Kink Motivation: Internal vs External Motivations
Oh, how disappointing. Yes, Pet, you did exactly what I said and shined my favorite pair of boots. Yet you had plenty of extra time and didn’t bother cleaning up the rest of the area afterwards. I will give you a paddling as agreed but only 5 strokes. Then we will have to reassess our arrangement.
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This is the best presentation we’ve had all week. All we needed was a few slides to show the basic information. Yet your slides were both thorough and concise. Having the extra materials were really helpful, too. Where did you get the idea for these worksheets?
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If we were to assign letter grades to these performances, Pet would have earned an A…barely. Pet accomplished completed the boot blacking assignment as instructed which earned him an A and a paddling. However, an opportunity to give more was squandered and received the minimum compensation. Our corporate professional’s grade would be an A+ in addition to an outstanding letter of recommendation. They earned the A by building a slide presentation. Bonus points were from the self directed additional work of providing worksheets. What separates their grades?
Rockstars in the boardroom and in the kink scene have high Internal Motivation.
The counterpoint to internal motivation is external motivation. Externally motivated individuals are all about what’s in it for them. Every interaction is transactional in nature. These individuals complete their tasks because they HAVE to in order to either receive a reward or avoid a punishment. The result is they very rarely go and above what’s asked. Internally motivated individuals are driven to fulfill their inner desires. They want to earn their self-respect and achieving their goals are the reward. These individuals complete their tasks because they WANT to have accomplished the task. The result is they often come up with creative ways to either do the work more efficiently or exceed expectations.
Employees and submissives with high internal motivation are coveted and valued. Leaders and Dominants with high internal motivation are revered and inspiring. Yale psychologist Amy Wrzesniewski conducted a study on West Point cadets comparing their motivation with their rate of graduation. The results showed that those with high internal motivation alone were about 20% more likely to graduate. Cadets with a mix of external and internal motivations fared much worse on graduation rates, receiving promotion, and staying in the military. Internal motivation alone was found to be the most important factor in predicting success. Here are ways to determine if an individual is internally motivated.
1) Ask questions on past behavior. The best predictor of future success is past performance. Ask for a recent example of when they put extra energy in achieving results. Inquire about an ambitious goal they have set for themselves. Did they achieve it? Are they still in pursuit? Have they had a great idea on a task that was rejected? How did they react? Questions on behavior are important because when almost anyone is posed the question, “How motivated are you?”, they will say they are, “Highly motivated.”
2) Look for signs that internally motivated individuals exhibit. It shouldn’t be surprising that these individuals are highly self reflective. They often think about who they are and what they want to become. This introspection often faces them with their flaws. As a result they are often actively trying to fix their flaws to become the best version of themselves. In addition to fixing their flaws, they are always striving for growth. This will often manifest in dedication to a hobby or side-project that has no outside reward other than the act itself.
3) Test for motivation. In the example of the Pet, assign them the task of boot blacking again. For this round, do not promise anything in return for the completion. Will they fare better, worse, or the same? Alternatively, actually give them a test. In a corporate setting you can subscribe to a service designed to screen future employees. For kink purposes an online quiz such as MindTools’ How Self-Motivated Are You? will provide adequate insight.
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Great! Now motivation has been determined. So what if the results show that someone (perhaps yourself?) is externally motivated? Are you doomed for all eternity? Hardly. (If you’re here you’re probably already doomed for the freaky, nasty kinks you enjoy. Congratulations.) Here are ways to build internal motivation in yourself, your submissive, or your employees.
1) Encourage competition against self. Determine a metric where there can be improvement. Examples are completeness of submissive task completion, time for project completion, and quality of project outcome. Now encourage the individual to set new personal records. Be careful not to give rewards when new records are set.
2) Make tasks that are achievable but not guaranteed. It is easy to stay motivated on tasks that can be completed with minimal effort. Delayed gratification due to a large exertion of energy requirement or a long time table, can keep an individual striving for more. There’s a delicate balance between piquing interest and fostering disengagement.
3) Build trust in capability to succeed. There is a subtle but important distinction between saying “You can do it” and “You are equipped to succeed.” The former implies that the task is straightforward and that anyone can do it. The latter implies that even if they should encounter roadblocks, they have skill set to be ultimately successful. The increase of self-worth mean they are more likely to challenge themselves.
4) Model internally motivated behavior. Ok, this one is tricky. What if you don’t actually HAVE internal motivation yet? You can achieve this through practice. Yes, you want to boot black your Mistresses favorite boots because you really want a spanking. Now think of what internal motivation would lead to the completion of the TASK. Perhaps learn about the meaning and history behind boot blacking to enjoy the activity in of itself. Seek out information that comes with extra work. Our corporate superstar learned how to use worksheets to reinforce information. The more you tasks you complete with internal motivations in mind, the more you will enjoy internal motivations.
In a position of leadership, either as a manager or as a Dominant, your subordinates will pick up on your internal motivation. It shows in your focus to work or kink, your desired outcomes, and your values towards the energy expended. You serve as a template for others on internal motivation.
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By developing your internal motivation you’ll achieve more in the boardroom and on the kink scene. Your results will be consistent and likely be spectacular because you are not limited to achieving a transactional award. You can only get so many awards but self satisfaction is limitless.
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